The Path to Endarkenment

Friday, July 29, 2005

So what? I’m a VET now?

*spoiler: this is nasty. Uneasy stomachs go play in the other categories.*

"Well it's a dirty job, but someone's got to do it! " "We care allot" by Faith no more

Ok... Umm... Now I know why I won't have kids anytime soon. Yesterday the housemate calls while I'm at work... You know, Webkittyn? Anyway, she tells me the kitten (who's name is still unofficial... I think Three is a good name as he's the 3rd cat we have in our lives) seems to have some odd growth in it's anus. Ok maybe not a growth... Let's just say it once and be done with it : A huge ball of shit stuck to its fur planted over his ass like a cork. There. I said it. Now there's nothing that can be thought of but extremely gross thoughts. WK called me telling me that she feels the kittens pain when he tries to "go" but his poo cork won't let him.

Fast forward to getting home from work. Upon entering and dropping some things brought in, there she is with this docile kitten with the desperate look on his puss. She proceeds to lift him up and says "lift the tail". Well lo and behold! BLIMEY! There's a big ball o' poo! It was horrid. We sat and plotted for a bit. My original thought of removing it with warm wet paper towels could in no way handle this travesty without help. Filling a wash basin with warm water, the plan we decided on was... Dunkin' Kitties.

Remember I said I rescued them from drowning? Needless to say, water is not this little boys best friend at the moment. He wasn't happy, but then again he has a peanut for a brain. He hissed, he writhed, he clawed at my latex surgical gloves.

We dunked him in. Held his little ass waist high in the water trying to get it to loosen what horrors lay below. He hissed, he cried, he meowed he whined. In the end (no pun intended) it was removed. In the final pull we decided to cut the last clump off as the pain on his little bum and balls was one step below intentional cruelty.

At least he seemed happier to have it gone. He was rather docile afterward. I expected him to run off immediately or run his wet lower half all over the living room. The best part was that he seemed full of loving gratitude as if we removed a burr from the lions paw.

Gee... I just hope he doesn't grow up one day and chose to tell someone that someone touched him when he was young. Is there a statute of limitations on anal poo removal? All in all, not a pleasant exercise to spend ones night doing. Fast forward to getting home from work. Upon entering and dropping some things brought in, there she is with this docile kitten with the desperate look on his puss. She proceeds to lift him up and says "lift the tail". Well lo and behold! BLIMEY! There's a big ball o' poo! It was horrid. We sat and plotted for a bit. My original thought of removing it with warm wet paper towels could in no way handle this travesty without help. Filling a wash basin with warm water, the plan we decided on was... Dunkin' Kitties.

Remember I said I rescued them from drowning? Needless to say, water is not this little boys best friend at the moment. He wasn't happy, but then again he has a peanut for a brain. He hissed, he writhed, he clawed at my latex surgical gloves.

We dunked him in. Held his little ass waist high in the water trying to get it to loosen what horrors lay below. He hissed, he cried, he meowed he whined. In the end (no pun intended) it was removed. In the final pull we decided to cut the last clump off as the pain on his little bum and balls was one step below intentional cruelty.

At least he seemed happier to have it gone. He was rather docile afterward. I expected him to run off immediately or run his wet lower half all over the living room. The best part was that he seemed full of loving gratitude as if we removed a burr from the lions paw.

Gee... I just hope he doesn't grow up one day and chose to tell someone that someone touched him when he was young. Is there a statute of limitations on anal poo removal? All in all, not a pleasant exercise to spend ones night doing.

Posted by Darkstar in

• Creatures of Darkness

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